Interview with a Doctor

I think one of the most important parts of your health care is choosing a doctor that you feel comfortable with as this person will be someone you'll be sharing your most private information. Yet some once they're HIV diagnosed may go to a health provider and have such a bad experience that they may not continue and lose out on getting a handle on their health.

You have to learn self-advocacy skills because once you're behind those closed doors you're on your own. I had to learn that it takes awhile to learn such skills. My own memories recall the first doctor I had. I was fortunate as on the first day he gave me a tool that I use to this day. He basically told me to question his advice and if something doesn't feel right, to ask questions and not just accept his prescribing of meds.

Of course I couldn't go crazy and just be resistance to everything he told me, but he gave me that room to ask questions when I was unsure about something, whether it was necessary to take certain pills, what did my blood work mean and was I placing myself at risk if I did certain acts in my relationships.

When it was time to part ways because of his job change I had those tools he gave me, yet ran into doctor who didn't have the same mindset of being questioned. There are some doctors who get lost in the numbers that follow their name and feel they know it all. I'll never forget after being in my 20th year of having this virus, my new doctor who couldn't have been that much older than me, trying to give me a sex education lesson on how to live with HIV. I know I shocked him when I told him I'd been living with this disease longer than he has been practicing it. It wasn't said out of cockiness but it was clear he didn't even read my file to learn who I was.

He learned that day.
So in the most simple ways to find a good doctor you should do the following:

1. Interview the doctor. Ask about their background and experience. Being African-American and recognizing there are different things I may have to deal with such as high blood pressure and diabetes, asking them what was their knowledge of African-American health issues. I'm literally placing my life in your hands and I want to know what you know and most importantly your experience.

2. Question medical diagnosis- This is where it can become tricky because after all they're the ones with the doctorate degree, but if you're being prescribed something that you're unfamiliar with ask what will do this do to me once I swallow it. Find out the side effects and if it's a medication that is difficult to take as you may not have a place to keep it in the fridge or eat meals at the same time of the day, you may want to see if there's other choices.

3. Google away- This also has some faults as some people can be bias when posting a review on the internet as well as be vindictive because the anonymity the internet provides but more people are writing their opinions about their doctor visits and placing it on the web. After a thorough search for a new provider it helped me find a doctor that sounded like we would be a good match. There were some that looked promising but after reading several different reviews on how unprofessional they were or how they were always late for appointments, it made my choices easier and saved me from wasting my time going to an office visit where the negative reviews were validated.

4. Being able to say it's not going to work- As stated before, your relationship with your doctor is just like any other relationship. Sometimes on that first visit you hit it off as you can feel their listening to you and hearing your concerns. Other times you catch them watching the clock as you're trying to explain to them about the pain in your leg. Often times the non-verbal speak louder than the verbal. But before you dismiss them have a talk with them about your concern and I emphasize the word, talk, and not giving attitude. And if you still feel it's not a fit, let them know and find another provider

Finding a good health provider is so important especially in this age when doctors are under pressure to see as many patients in a day based on the clinic they work in. Yes doctors have quotas also, so sometimes it feels like you're in a turnstile as you just sat down and already you're out the door.

If you have good insurance often private doctors are sometimes more desirable than clinics, but there are many clinics that give excellent one-on-one service that is unmatched by a private doctor. It's all about doing your research and knowing what works for you. Knowing your comforts, such as do you prefer a female over male, someone gay over straight and someone the same ethnicity as you? But whatever your preference is don't just miss your medical appointments because of a bad experience.

Take your care in your hand and learn the skill of speaking your mind!

The 'forgotten' Community

When it comes to HIV prevention messages, most of the time the messages center on two groups, men who have sex with men and of these campaigns, it’s mostly men of color. The second targeted campaigns are directed to women, a group that is rising in rates of infection.

Yet there’s another community that most HIV prevention doesn’t target or seems to not have on their radar. I call that group the ‘forgotten’ community or more commonly known as men of color who identify as straight. In this absence of direct marketing we have a situation where complacency is fostered and the education of protecting oneself against HIV is irrelevant as the messages in not targeting straight men creates a self-dialogue where a heterosexual man may think, “I’m not gay therefore I don’t have to worry about HIV”. An unfortunate statement that is far from the truth.

           

Thank God for a new program introduced by Iris House which is based in Harlem and has an office in the Bronx which has taken the initiative to give focus to this overlook community. The program is called Keepit100nyc with the subheading of ‘Love Your Life” a program designed for men of color between the ages of 18-24. As reported by the Executive Director of Iris House Ingrid Floyd she makes it clear that ‘it takes a village’ as she lays out the approach of the interventions.

           

I’ve always felt that when it came to any type of HIV interventions within the community, overlooked are the neighborhood members who are either directly or indirectly affected by this disease. Harlem is one of the hardest hit areas when it comes to rates of infection and recognizing that Iris House uses several innovated ways to reach straight identified men. The first way is that it trains and works with local barbers to provide information and education on HIV to its patrons. This reduces barriers of men who may avoid agencies that provide HIV interventions based on the stigma of simply walking in the physical building itself.

Anyone familiar with barbershops know that it’s a conduit of information as men talk about random issues and as you wait for your turn in the chair you are privy to the conversations happening even if you’re not participating in the talks. This over hearing of info, especially when its of HIV interventions is ideal as there’s something of value when you hear straight men talking of a subject that is usually sung by gay men, of which a straight man may dismiss based on the sexuality of the messenger.

According to Keepit100nyc coordinator Serge Jean, he discusses the most important part of the intervention which has participants in the program which is called Nia Interventions. Nia which is Swahili for ‘purpose’ is a six hour, two to four session small group interventions. The goals of this intervention are to educate African American men about HIV/AIDS and its effect on their community, bring groups of men together, increase motivation to reduce risks, and help men learn new skills to protect themselves and others by promoting condom use and increasing intentions to use condoms.

           

Videos of straight men talking to their female sexual partners of condom usage and even discussing safe sex with their homeboys bring an authentic feel as media plays a big part of not only how we learn about HIV but again it breaks and shatter the myth that only gay men are affected by this disease.

By showing real situations in the videos that straights can identify with, it debunks the falseness of straight men and condom usage and informs them that condom usage with their female partners are not just about preventing pregnancy. It also introduces the most important piece which is how you talk to your female partner about using condoms without the face of mistrust or one of the partners cheating appearing. It makes condom usage a symbol of caring about the health of yourself and your partner.

           

For those who test positive the program also provides case management which can help navigate participants to better care and support which goes beyond the programs interventions. Most importantly it connects men to health care within their community without the belief that quality care only exist outside your zip code.

           

I feel that when it comes to HIV we all should be talking about it. It’s not about focusing on how you identify sexually. It’s about how to make accessible information to those who may not check off on the intake sheet that they’re gay.

 It’s making the invisible, visible and most of all it’s about keeping it real and recognizing that we can no longer have a ‘forgotten’ community and especially in communities of color, shattering that fairy tale that straights are not affected. We have to become affected, no matter how we identify, before we become infected.

Hats off to you Iris House for keeping it real and helping men of color love their life!!

For more info click on the link or go to Keepit100nyc.org