Now that you’re carrying the disease you now have two choices with your life: you can live or you can die.
For those who choose to die stop reading now and start planning your funeral.
For those who choose life, realize that the pity party is over and you have no one to blame but yourself. I know that may sound harsh but we're not in the infancy of this disease but it is something that has been here for three decades. Like my mother would say, “you should have known better”.
It's time to start taking responsibility that you chose to have sex unprotected and yes your partner had the disease but you can’t blame him for giving you the virus. The responsibility also fell on your shoulders when you decided to open your legs or got on your back without a simple piece of latex as a barrier.
You're not living in a Beyonce video. By putting a ring on it doesn't make him monogamous. We sometimes get so wrapped up in the package we don’t take time to see what’s in the box. We think we’re that person’s first but you should assume they were infected and not accept the online status where they marked negative or they’ve given the answer you wanted to hear just for a booty call.
Now it's time to put the blame and accusations away in the cupboard and take accountability for your life and stop telling yourself you don't want to die from this disease. You're going to die from something no matter who you are and sometimes when we become infected we spend our living life worried about death that we forget how to live. We allow ourselves to become the walking dead. Focus on the life you have as imperfect as it is. Thank God you're alive to recognize its imperfect value.
Lift your head and quit telling yourself you deserved it. Stop saying you deserved it because you’re poor or you’re a person of color or you didn’t have a role model. Those are just excuses we build around ourselves to take away the ownership of our actions.